A Sense Of Loss (Poetry)

I never dreamed I could feel quite this empty
not from hunger but from acute sense of loss
and yet I’m not sure exactly what is missing
while I try to guess how much it’s cost

Such sensation may create a contradiction
but these many years should add up and pay out
instead I’m wrestling this dreadful affliction
a great hollow disease of self-doubt

It seems I’ve learnt nothing of any value
like how wisdom might equate to mental health
and if that lesson required certain reading
the book’s perched too high on some top shelf

It’s way too late in the day for more study
my concentration wandering from the start
with my low confidence levels kept busy
taping over the cracks in my heart

I suffered from foolishness — which is surely
not judged a cardinal sin since changing times
offer their bargain rate therapy sessions
all the while this sense of loss undermines

But my own mind might prove itself quite able
to fix me — find out what is actually wrong
I will work at it to redress the balance
or maybe get to fake being strong