After Reading His Diary (Poetry)

He wasn’t like the others
somehow born out of his time
when girls declared him creepy
I argued he was fine

although difficult to talk to
and he hardly ever smiled
he had that kind of troubled look —
the awkward lonely child

I thought that I’d imagined it —
the way he studied me
I mentioned it to Cheryl who
dismissed it scornfully

as mere teen infatuation
keen to be one of our gang
he lingered on the edge — unsure
just how to chill or hang

School finished — we all went our ways
some few still stayed in touch
his name cropped up from time to time
though really not that much

And yet I never quite forgot
for something haunted me
and on the night of the great storm
I fretted sleeplessly

I simply couldn’t think just what
had got me wound so tight
but well before the storm blew up
I sensed the birds take flight

and knew somehow, somewhere, something
was sure to happen soon
as gradually the wind grew strong
I paced from room to room

At last it came — the air went snap
the sky I heard it scream
and pour wet fury through a gap
to fill the hills between

I sat all night in tension’s grip
until the world awoke
and with it the sad story of
Tim’s misadventure broke

The news a sudden hammer blow
I fought to catch my breath
in shock due to the pain I felt
more than his actual death

Irrational, I mourned for what
I couldn’t understand
until they sent his diary and
I held it in my hand

I read my name a thousand times
and in its brevity
he captured those unspoken words
he’d kept so long from me

Connection made I knew him then
in silent moments shared
beside the grave I visited
to show somebody cared

And thus began this odd romance
just as it’s written here
when sultry nights unleash their storms
I dream he’ll reappear

then I will kiss him and release
his too-shy ghost because
I’ve missed him and I wish I’d known
the boy he really was