Brother (Poetry)

We played, we scrapped, we argued and ignored
each other —
indifferent — pretending to be bored
with oneupmanship
because it mattered then —
that rivalry - the strutting to impress
in front of mates or girls —
but who was the best
is unimportant now
you’re gone and I am left

wondering what part of me you were —
how much you’ve taken with you
I can’t tell exactly what I’ve lost
for I’m still counting —
measuring those things
we shared —
the common ground of childhood spent
with family — the four of us indoors
and what went on remembered for so long
by just us two...

I am the last to carry on those thoughts
with you not here to prompt or put me right
on details — little things the years have blurred
or muddled.
And I never saw this coming — this raw need
to keep our past, preserve its flavour true
and honest — see the final story through
while I carry out your coffin
bearing all that weight of duty
like a brother has to do.