Fighting But Not Fit (Poetry)

I’m trying to stay chipper
but I don’t feel good at all
I’m climbing like a spider
very slowly up the wall

and I’m slipping and I’m sliding
my thin rope is giving out
there’s a whisper in me growing
and it aches to be a shout

I just tell myself I’m dealing
I’ll feel better in a while
so I grit my teeth pretending
I’m attempting a wry smile

while a part of me is raging
as it jostles with despair
and a horror undermines the
stubborn streak already there

So I’m fighting to keep going
and the lines etched in my face
are a diagram I’d follow
if I hadn’t lost my place

I’ll be sure to write the story
should the spider chance to win
the wall is steep but so far
I’m refusing to give in