Filling the Gap (Poetry)

[ Monica is a character in the Mike Leigh film "Secrets and Lies” ]

I know just why you did what you did, Monica —
the projects you found to fill the time —
those passions — intense — that kept your mind
from playing on loss.

They devoured you, Mon — ate at your energy
sucked at the sap of every thought
until you were too dazed — too dry — too empty
to feel anything much.

The strategy worked for a while — bought
a sense of diverted purpose — all that
creativity burst out in a flood —
unforced expression — and it should have done you
                more good.

But the flood subsided — the levels fell
and left dark rings — the waters unmoving —
devoid of life but deeply haunted by the lack of it —
the ripples all in your imagination.

There is no substitute for what you have lost —
and nothing can hope to fill that gap for long
for nothing fits exactly — so accept it, Mon —
let go and grieve — there’s nothing to be done.