For Your Information (Poetry)

My details have changed so it’s time
you updated your file
I’m not who I was and I haven’t
been her for a while
and you cannot imagine how wonderful
freedom can be
once I shrugged off the old and repurposed
myself a new me

Oh it’s not just a case of a facelift
a nip and a tuck
or some radical diet that’s transformed
my life and my luck
I was old grey and boring and heartily
sick of the view
so I’ve thrown out the baby and all of
the bath water too

I’ve left all the worries — possessions and such
far behind
I just took off last month in a suddenly
light frame of mind
now I’ve had my head shaved and I’m wearing a robe
with bright hippy beads
at long last I’m a woman who feels
she has all that she needs

So I’m letting you know you should cancel
my credit account
I don’t care what I owe you can sing
for the total amount
you can send in the bailiffs — I’m gone
and I don’t give a damn
they’ll look for my old self and she’s
the last person I am

It’s very unlikely I’ll need to
make contact again
your revised Ts and Cs drove my former
persona insane
in conclusion I think her business with
you is complete
if you haven’t yet guessed I’ve already
pressed FILE DELETE