How To Marry A Millionaire (Or Not) (Poetry)

I thought that Jasper was a likely shot —
by reputation loaded — or at least
his father was. The info that I’d got
suggested a high-flyer — some Big Cheese

with a private helicopter, plus a yacht
impressive in the echelons of rich
and so I gathered all the charm I’d got
to snare his son and sexually bewitch

But Jasper was a child — a fool, a dunce
as empty-headed as I was dyed-blonde
I flirted madly — offered more than once
to up the stakes and gamble way beyond

my usual limit — all to no avail
he liked the hunt and relished the kiss chase
but tired so fast — abandoning the trail
distracted by a fresh alluring face

And thus the competition for a share
in both wallet and inheritance was tense
my rival some young filly primed to wear
her hemline high to leap hot passion’s fence ...

No prize for guessing Jasper was a boy
who, when called to bat, played for the other side —
and eventually he found his lifelong joy
in Frank — his faithful partner ’til he died

I moved in modest circles after that
and set my sights more realistically —
a home, a husband and a well-fed cat
and far happier than I’d ever hoped to be

Thus, my message (should it need be underlined)
to any girl accounted smart and wise —
stay flexible, for there are times you’ll find
a small investment yields the bigger prize