Someone Else (Poetry)

I was seldom the me I imagined I’d be
and I was never the daughter they wanted
I tried to be someone — I tried to break free
but I failed to be who I invented

Then the mother I was was rejected because
cracks started to show over time
and I couldn’t pin down who the real culprit was
love accused as my partner in crime

I still hang stubbornly from the family tree
like a leaf whipped around by the storm
way out on a limb where there’s no one to see
how I fight to survive and stay warm

All my childhood I fought but my efforts fell short
and the pattern remained much the same
the rest of my life and in spite of much thought
to the unwritten rules of that game

I am missing the me I had once planned to be —
I’m a stand-in for somebody else
and it’s hard to feel normal or act naturally
when you’ve lost the true part of yourself