Not As Ordered (Poetry)

You probably anticipated the average
flat pack, easily assembled DIY —
some discipline, the right bits and bingo,
nothing to it, no special skill required —
all down to common sense
and a little naturally assumed know-how.

Forget instructions — what was there to learn
that couldn’t be picked up along the way?
No rocket science, this was clear as day
and no one knew the theory like you did —
all the right components — can’t go wrong
with a check list and a narrow field of sight.

So, what went wrong — how long was it before
you sensed there was a fault — who did you blame
when the results proved disappointingly unlike
the blueprint you had fixed inside your brain?

I turned out different from the basic kit
you’d asked for and you’ve always seemed to me
uncomfortable with extras — as though I
should remake myself as less than I can be.

Imagination — you’ve no room for that,
and creative drive’s an arty farty thing
that others have, outside our social sphere —
dangerous, foreign stuff, superfluous
to ordinary folk — no need for it here.

Perhaps I was a throwback, heaven knows
I’ve wondered, on and off and on again, for years
as you do what you call duty, never brave
enough to tell me how you failed and ask
the forgiveness I could offer. But I won’t
apologise for not being that bland child
you ordered — they sent me, the one version
you could not fathom or connect with —
perhaps you really should have stuck to making shelves.