Sifting The Past (Poetry)

I’m sifting through the past for explanation
to counter heavy doubts that plague my mind
aware I risk a meltdown situation
prepared for any option I can find

I’m looking for a hook to hang my life on
I’m searching for some blue amongst the grey
I’m hoping for a glow on the horizon
just something good — a purpose to the day

For now there seems no reason for existence
all logic fails — the vision’s growing dim
there’s little point in mere routine persistence
when what the future holds appears so grim

I’m kicking at the backdoor of depression
while freedom is a concept losing shape
each possibility’s a poor impression
I’m fumbling for the key to my escape