"Speak Roughly to Your Little Boy" (Poetry)

There was a time, not long ago, when children were expected
to speak only when spoken to and frequently subjected
to discipline — Victorians believed the rod essential,
or else the child would surely spoil and end up pestilential.

Not so, the modern pragmatist who holds progressive theories
on free expression, bids us all allow our little dearies
to run amok while we deny the urge to swipe or batter
les enfants tres terrible and pretend it doesn’t matter

that they’re lacking charm or manners — hyperactive, loud and rude,
uncooperative and frequently disgusting with their food —
unlike the child of yesteryear, respectful and compliant,
the new-age brat’s precocious, irritating and defiant.

When the cherub in the buggy is a demon in disguise
with an ego too inflated for its romper-suited size,
we might blame the Teletubbies, additives or global warming
for red-faced screaming episodes — peeved child-to-fiend transforming,

but perhaps the answer’s simple — it could merely be a lack
of parental interaction — like the odd deserving thwack
delivered with conviction (to relieve an itching palm
with a satisfying tingle, and restore a sense of calm).

Although Alice thought the Duchess rough, behaving so severely,
a little violence now and then is beneficial, clearly
the Duchess knew a thing or two, so make them tow the line —
don’t be deceived by Dr. Spock — most kids are little swine!