Summing Up (Poetry)

I have become aware of all the things
I’ve planned but haven’t done —
they crowd round like a mob
taunting — throwing insults at my life —
its poorly-run, half-finished job
those duties I’ve continually ignored
believing there were finer goals
in theory always waiting to be explored.

They mock — those opportunities
ticked off the groaning list —
misunderstood or overlooked
no matter which
they count as missed.
The plus side shrinks to one or two
that cling like stalwart friends —
such small successes can’t outweigh
the message failure sends

written deep — its words burn long
into a restless night.
Age has robbed me and I lack
the will — the means
to rally energy and fight
for what remains — those scraps
of hope that wink and jeer.
The awful whisper telling true —
my faults have led me nowhere else
                                        but here.