The Kiss (Poetry)
18th May 2014
A Victorian Love Story
My thoughts often sail a vast ocean of years
around long-ago islands, part-clouded with tears
and I feel his warm lips that once pressed against mine
in a moment adrift in the annals of time.
For how many tides have washed how many shores
since I was a housemaid intent on my chores
and he in his uniform — handsome and tall —
became the new lord at East Rutherford Hall?
In my seventeenth summer, and he twenty-one
and the late Earl of Merton’s impetuous son —
the sparks flew between us despite that I knew
to follow my heart was a rash thing to do.
Yet I couldn’t resist when we came face to face
his hand brushing mine, I neglected my place
and encouraged such folly — ignored the taboo
against such liaisons — denied it was true.
Fate played with my heart like a cat with a mouse
as whispers of scandal seeped slow through the house.
I thought we’d been subtle — as clever as thieves
when we stole time together. It irks and it grieves
me to wonder which one of them gave us away
for I cannot be sure who it was to this day.
All at once he grew distant — his attitude changed
when his marriage to third cousin Ruth was arranged.
I schemed and I plotted to somehow contrive
to get him alone or at least catch his eye
for I couldn’t accept, even less understand
why he’d cast me aside for a plain spinster’s hand.
But the chance never came, he was kept from my sight
while I haunted the hallways by day and by night —
our lives separated by some silent blow
without explanation — or pity — as though
they assumed a mere housemaid as lowly as me
had no feelings to hurt — heart and mind fancy-free.
But I thinned to a shadow — cheeks pale as a ghost
of the girl that I was, for I missed him the most
in the weeks that led up to that dreaded event
with everything set — invitations all sent.
The bride a stout galleon in full silken sail
like nothing could stop her — not cannon nor gale.
As I withered, she blossomed — her skirts swishing wide
drowning hope inch by inch beneath destiny’s tide
while I prayed for a sign that the day wouldn’t come
I feared deep inside that my rival had won.
On the eve of that wedding I grieved in my room
like a penitent nun given up to her gloom
and convinced there is nothing but sorrow ahead
when living’s so bleak knowing romance is dead.
It was well after midnight and all were abed
when a strong sense of prescience entered my head
and I gazed out the window and there plain to see
stood alone in the moonlight he waited for me.
Well, I sped through the house — found a door open wide
with my heart in my mouth I then ventured outside
the dew fresh on the grass and a chill in the air
an owl in the yew tree to witness us there.
How we looked at each other — I’d no words to speak
my head felt so light and my legs felt so weak
then he sighed a long sigh as though weighed down with grief
his expression so grave that I shook like a leaf.
“It’s no good,” he began “I’m so sorry, my dear!”
His voice a low whisper breathed close and sincere
“Things are over for us, and I knew all along
it was foolish to think it was other than wrong.”
His hands grasped my shoulders, his eyes searched my face.
“It’s true,” I conceded “If I’d known my place
I would never have dared to imagine we might
be together for more than one clandestine night...”
Such a sob rose within me and caught in my throat
as I struggled to end it on such a sad note
and keep from collapsing or begging him please
simply follow his heart — brave the roughest of seas...
The moment hung potent — and then it was gone
the moon on its journey rolled carelessly on
aloof to the trifling problems of men
caught in her spotlight — no pity for them.
Just how long we stood there I cannot recall
as the shadows grew long by the old kitchen wall
I remember the owl hooting soft in the dark —
how it broke through the spell of the near-silent park.
Then he spoke once again, looking up at the sky
his voice sounding weary “This must be goodbye —
let us treasure this moment for now and all time
so forever I’m yours, and forever you’re mine!”
All the pain and the ecstasy melted to fire
fierce in the throes of our thwarted desire
but tender and sweet as a lifetime of bliss
condensed to the term of one last parting kiss.
I felt all his yearning — great waves of regret
wash through in a flood while our urgent lips met
and the bliss seemed unending — so giddy and light
’til I fell back to earth — found he’d vanished from sight.
*****
As dawn greyed the rooftops I got my bags packed
and left the house early — I never went back.
They sent on my references — nothing was said
of misconduct — no shame was brought down on my head.
Oh, I found a new job and I made a fresh life
and I met a fine man and became his good wife
and the years have been kind, though unthrilling because
I too often remember that girl I once was
come alive in his arms as love-drunk as a fool
and too tipsy to follow society’s rule...
But he left me one priceless indelible gift —
his promise held true — I can still feel his lips.
My thoughts often sail a vast ocean of years
around long-ago islands, part-clouded with tears
and I feel his warm lips that once pressed against mine
in a moment adrift in the annals of time.
For how many tides have washed how many shores
since I was a housemaid intent on my chores
and he in his uniform — handsome and tall —
became the new lord at East Rutherford Hall?
In my seventeenth summer, and he twenty-one
and the late Earl of Merton’s impetuous son —
the sparks flew between us despite that I knew
to follow my heart was a rash thing to do.
Yet I couldn’t resist when we came face to face
his hand brushing mine, I neglected my place
and encouraged such folly — ignored the taboo
against such liaisons — denied it was true.
Fate played with my heart like a cat with a mouse
as whispers of scandal seeped slow through the house.
I thought we’d been subtle — as clever as thieves
when we stole time together. It irks and it grieves
me to wonder which one of them gave us away
for I cannot be sure who it was to this day.
All at once he grew distant — his attitude changed
when his marriage to third cousin Ruth was arranged.
I schemed and I plotted to somehow contrive
to get him alone or at least catch his eye
for I couldn’t accept, even less understand
why he’d cast me aside for a plain spinster’s hand.
But the chance never came, he was kept from my sight
while I haunted the hallways by day and by night —
our lives separated by some silent blow
without explanation — or pity — as though
they assumed a mere housemaid as lowly as me
had no feelings to hurt — heart and mind fancy-free.
But I thinned to a shadow — cheeks pale as a ghost
of the girl that I was, for I missed him the most
in the weeks that led up to that dreaded event
with everything set — invitations all sent.
The bride a stout galleon in full silken sail
like nothing could stop her — not cannon nor gale.
As I withered, she blossomed — her skirts swishing wide
drowning hope inch by inch beneath destiny’s tide
while I prayed for a sign that the day wouldn’t come
I feared deep inside that my rival had won.
On the eve of that wedding I grieved in my room
like a penitent nun given up to her gloom
and convinced there is nothing but sorrow ahead
when living’s so bleak knowing romance is dead.
It was well after midnight and all were abed
when a strong sense of prescience entered my head
and I gazed out the window and there plain to see
stood alone in the moonlight he waited for me.
Well, I sped through the house — found a door open wide
with my heart in my mouth I then ventured outside
the dew fresh on the grass and a chill in the air
an owl in the yew tree to witness us there.
How we looked at each other — I’d no words to speak
my head felt so light and my legs felt so weak
then he sighed a long sigh as though weighed down with grief
his expression so grave that I shook like a leaf.
“It’s no good,” he began “I’m so sorry, my dear!”
His voice a low whisper breathed close and sincere
“Things are over for us, and I knew all along
it was foolish to think it was other than wrong.”
His hands grasped my shoulders, his eyes searched my face.
“It’s true,” I conceded “If I’d known my place
I would never have dared to imagine we might
be together for more than one clandestine night...”
Such a sob rose within me and caught in my throat
as I struggled to end it on such a sad note
and keep from collapsing or begging him please
simply follow his heart — brave the roughest of seas...
The moment hung potent — and then it was gone
the moon on its journey rolled carelessly on
aloof to the trifling problems of men
caught in her spotlight — no pity for them.
Just how long we stood there I cannot recall
as the shadows grew long by the old kitchen wall
I remember the owl hooting soft in the dark —
how it broke through the spell of the near-silent park.
Then he spoke once again, looking up at the sky
his voice sounding weary “This must be goodbye —
let us treasure this moment for now and all time
so forever I’m yours, and forever you’re mine!”
All the pain and the ecstasy melted to fire
fierce in the throes of our thwarted desire
but tender and sweet as a lifetime of bliss
condensed to the term of one last parting kiss.
I felt all his yearning — great waves of regret
wash through in a flood while our urgent lips met
and the bliss seemed unending — so giddy and light
’til I fell back to earth — found he’d vanished from sight.
*****
As dawn greyed the rooftops I got my bags packed
and left the house early — I never went back.
They sent on my references — nothing was said
of misconduct — no shame was brought down on my head.
Oh, I found a new job and I made a fresh life
and I met a fine man and became his good wife
and the years have been kind, though unthrilling because
I too often remember that girl I once was
come alive in his arms as love-drunk as a fool
and too tipsy to follow society’s rule...
But he left me one priceless indelible gift —
his promise held true — I can still feel his lips.