The Shipping Forecast (Poetry)

There’s a warning for all sailors
as the weather bares its teeth
for the wind is gusting gale force
smaller boats may come to grief

There’s a sighting off the headland
of a woman who’s half-fish
and the ocean does her bidding
all the tides obey her wish

She is singing up a tempest
the reports are coming fast
of a ship that’s hit a maelstrom
and it’s got one broken mast

All her crew are clinging desperate
the ship’s radio’s off-air
there are mermaids in those waters
so they haven’t got a prayer

The harbour master’s keeping
all pleasure craft in port
there’s no fishing, swimming, diving
not a single water sport

And they’re handing out the sandbags
for they fear the wall might fail
if it crumbles there’ll be flooding
on an off-the-record scale

News flash — the half-fish woman
has a sister on the pier
and her voice now clearly carried
by the wind is lisping near ...

So take care old seasalt sailors
block your ears, lock every door
we are cursed with stormy weather
cross yourself and stay on shore